The Disasters In My Head #2:
IMPORTANT things first: This is NOT a comic about alcoholism. The cans are meant to represent the “jolt” or “dose” of anxiety that can occur when faced with everyday, mundane interactions. Sometimes these instances are singular, and sometimes they build up over the course of a day, rendering a person (me) virtually unable to function (as if it wasn’t hard enough to get up and outside in the first place.) It has only happened within the last two years that I can talk to people without shaking, or go to the store without feeling like my body is boiling. Although these are not battles that always end victorious, things have been getting better- hence the ability to draw this comic and share it.
Anxiety Jitters: Some people live on beer, liquor, and energy drinks. I live on beer, liquor, and anxiety. So here you go. An anxiety, alcohol, and everything else fueled coping mechanism.
Technically speaking though, since this IS actually about self improvement and progress- Does this express what I was hoping to? Kind of- mostly.
Does this express the caliber of work I hope to be capable of when I sit down to draw comics? Absolutely not, but it does make me feel a hell of a lot more hopeful.
This was my first “full” comic ever- I’d never even drawn myself (or much else for that matter) in comic form, before uh… few weeks ago? … Battling perfectionism is not fun… but amazingly this WAS very fun to draw. I had no idea what I was doing, but there was very little stress (OK yeah, fine. There was a little but in that way that self growth is more important than failure, or that one line that’s uneven… or something.) Like I mentioned previously, I’ve been working on reducing my creative stress levels, and (after too many years) it’s been working tremendously. At this point in my life and development, expressing and learning is more important (as often as possible) than having the most perfect end product (especially if it was work that relied on safe and conservative methods and attitudes)… Messy, unpredictable- kind of like working on anxiety issues.
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